there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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