im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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