...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
