who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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