Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
