I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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