I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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