Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
