It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
