IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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