you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
