now i know why i became what i already was.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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