So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We're too hungover to prance.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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