cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
