Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
