Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
