I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize