i would punch a child for taco bell
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
