our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
