we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The power of my boobs compel you
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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