you would pick up someone in the library
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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