He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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