we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
