Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
