whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
