if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
