Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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