So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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