I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
