There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
