none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I will die if light touches me.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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