Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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