that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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