thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Even my vagina gasped.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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