nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
