so explain again why im purple
no
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
