your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
