ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
