I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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