well most of my day revolves around power hour
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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