no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
