its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
