I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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