dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I need a beard to bite.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
