So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize