just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
it's like iHOP with fire
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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