im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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