I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
