No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
