We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
