An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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