Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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