What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
