your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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