question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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