we're blogging at a bar
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
