he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
