Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
