Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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